Aunt Maggie is lovingly watering the geraniums careful not to smother them. Her hands are tightly clenched over the sleek neck of a Merlot. She suddenly stumbles over the uneven layer of landscape and the bottle lands with a thud on the wet grass, rolls over to the corner and seeks shelter between two pebbles. The bottle is empty.
Aunt Maggie looks aghast!
"Oh! dear Lord, have I been graciously pouring wine over my geraniums? No wonder they looked a tad hung over."
Aunt Maggie groans and makes her way to the porch where she is intercepted by little Nancy who hands her the phone.
"Now, who is this at this time of the day?"
"It is 10 am Aunt Maggie," says little Nancy and runs back inside the house.
Aunt Maggie grunts and holds the phone so close to her mouth, almost biting the receiver with her knotted teeth.
"Wherefrom did you get my number?" she asks with a twinge of suspicion wondering if the caller could be one of her buddies from the support group.
"Well, I saw a video you had posted on You Tube explaining the life coach skills you have and at the end, you left this number."
"Oh! I see."
Aunt Maggie had no memory of such a thing. Was it a prankster, she wondered again now knowing what to say. She wanted more wine to be able to think straight. But for that she had to walk up to the house first and then sneak a bottle without anybody noticing her.
"Are you there Maggie?" came the voice of the caller.
"Yes of course! If you say that I am a life coach, then I am one. Tell me what your problem is, dear?"
"Your problem cannot be bigger than mine. I have been watering my geraniums with Merlot. I am raving mad and hung over," Aunt Maggie thinks to herself.
"Go ahead dear, spill out your problem," she barks into the receiver.
"Okay. I want to break up with my boy friend and I really don't know how to do it without hurting his feelings for me. He loves me a lot."
"Is that all, dear? You have come to the right person. Aunt Maggie has broken several hearts when I was the reigning queen of my times."
"I never gave a darn if it hurt them or not," she thinks to herself.
"What do you suggest Maggie?"
"My dear girl, is your boyfriend a nature lover?"
"Yes, but how does that help?"
"Wait, dear and answer me first. Does he have a garden?" persists Aunt Maggie.
"Yes he has a vegetable garden and sells his produce in the local market. This helps him to pay his tuition fees. He is studying to be an agriculturist."
"All the more better," says Aunt Maggie, not knowing what solution to offer this caller and wondering what state of mind she was in when she posted the video on You Tube.
She looks around and then sees the empty Merlot resting in between the pebbles and then at her geraniums. They are almost wilted.
"Good heavens, for how long have they been doused with Merlot?" Aunt Maggie lets out a grunt again.
"Hello, I am waiting," the caller says.
"Dear, this is what you ought to do. It may sound stupid and preposterous but your problem will be resolved."
"How?"
"Take a few bottles of Merlot with you to your boyfriend's place and empty them all on his plants. That will definitely work," says Aunt Maggie happily and stumbles again as she enters the house and places the receiver on the hook.
The next week she gets a call at the same time from the same caller.
"Aunt Maggie," it worked. We broke up and my boyfriend now hates me.
"Very well then, isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes, Aunt Maggie but now I have another problem."
"So quickly, dear. Now what is your problem," asks Aunt Maggie feeling a bit tired.
"I am pregnant, Aunt Maggie and I just broke up with the father of my baby. I need to win him back. Please tell me how I can do that?"
Aunt Maggie hung up and pronto changed the telephone number.
She forgot about the You Tube Video and it went viral when the number was coincidentally allotted to a life coach who was her namesake.
Aunt Maggie looks aghast!
"Oh! dear Lord, have I been graciously pouring wine over my geraniums? No wonder they looked a tad hung over."
Aunt Maggie groans and makes her way to the porch where she is intercepted by little Nancy who hands her the phone.
"Now, who is this at this time of the day?"
"It is 10 am Aunt Maggie," says little Nancy and runs back inside the house.
Aunt Maggie grunts and holds the phone so close to her mouth, almost biting the receiver with her knotted teeth.
"Wherefrom did you get my number?" she asks with a twinge of suspicion wondering if the caller could be one of her buddies from the support group.
"Well, I saw a video you had posted on You Tube explaining the life coach skills you have and at the end, you left this number."
"Oh! I see."
Aunt Maggie had no memory of such a thing. Was it a prankster, she wondered again now knowing what to say. She wanted more wine to be able to think straight. But for that she had to walk up to the house first and then sneak a bottle without anybody noticing her.
"Are you there Maggie?" came the voice of the caller.
"Yes of course! If you say that I am a life coach, then I am one. Tell me what your problem is, dear?"
"Your problem cannot be bigger than mine. I have been watering my geraniums with Merlot. I am raving mad and hung over," Aunt Maggie thinks to herself.
"Go ahead dear, spill out your problem," she barks into the receiver.
"Okay. I want to break up with my boy friend and I really don't know how to do it without hurting his feelings for me. He loves me a lot."
"Is that all, dear? You have come to the right person. Aunt Maggie has broken several hearts when I was the reigning queen of my times."
"I never gave a darn if it hurt them or not," she thinks to herself.
"What do you suggest Maggie?"
"My dear girl, is your boyfriend a nature lover?"
"Yes, but how does that help?"
"Wait, dear and answer me first. Does he have a garden?" persists Aunt Maggie.
"Yes he has a vegetable garden and sells his produce in the local market. This helps him to pay his tuition fees. He is studying to be an agriculturist."
"All the more better," says Aunt Maggie, not knowing what solution to offer this caller and wondering what state of mind she was in when she posted the video on You Tube.
She looks around and then sees the empty Merlot resting in between the pebbles and then at her geraniums. They are almost wilted.
"Good heavens, for how long have they been doused with Merlot?" Aunt Maggie lets out a grunt again.
"Hello, I am waiting," the caller says.
"Dear, this is what you ought to do. It may sound stupid and preposterous but your problem will be resolved."
"How?"
"Take a few bottles of Merlot with you to your boyfriend's place and empty them all on his plants. That will definitely work," says Aunt Maggie happily and stumbles again as she enters the house and places the receiver on the hook.
The next week she gets a call at the same time from the same caller.
"Aunt Maggie," it worked. We broke up and my boyfriend now hates me.
"Very well then, isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes, Aunt Maggie but now I have another problem."
"So quickly, dear. Now what is your problem," asks Aunt Maggie feeling a bit tired.
"I am pregnant, Aunt Maggie and I just broke up with the father of my baby. I need to win him back. Please tell me how I can do that?"
Aunt Maggie hung up and pronto changed the telephone number.
She forgot about the You Tube Video and it went viral when the number was coincidentally allotted to a life coach who was her namesake.
No comments:
Post a Comment