Maggie and the shrink

Aunt Maggie gets a jolt as she realises that she had meandered towards the thicket, the forbidden path, that too in the dead of the night.

“Sleepwalking can be dangerous. I might even kill somebody. How dreadful would that be? I must see Dr Redwood the first thing in the morning and tell him about this. He is well aware of all my problems, the inane telephone callers, the arrest of my nephew and of course my everlasting love for Merlot, which I don’t see as much of a problem except that once I did water the geraniums with it, but that was just once. I have to tell him about this new ailment; if I live through this night and escape becoming the supper for the wolves or bears or other wild boars.”

The thought of wild animals made Aunt Maggie shiver like a pale, wilted leaf. She had read so many stories to little Nancy who listened to all these horror stories with interest, in the cosy comfort of her bedroom.

Dr Redwood was a good friend of Phillip and a very kind hearted person who understood all her maladies, at least he said he did and kept making notes continuously with his head bent. She loved it when Dr Redwood made notes as this made her feel very important and she simply made up wild stories to add that spicy touch to her woes.

Aunt Maggie could never take her eyes off his head as she counted the four strands that still survived on his otherwise bald pate. Phillip was also bald but Dr Redwood was balder than most bald men whom she had come across in her life span of 80 odd years.

Aunt Maggie’s thoughts came to a halt as she heard the rustle of leaves. Was it a wolf or a grizzly bear? This was not one of those bed time stories she read out to little Nancy. This was real and she was in the woods, that too in the dead of night.

Aunt Maggie shivered in her night gown. She was barefooted and it hurt now. Her toes curled and the cramps were unbearable to the point where she could not get up.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…………….”she screamed in pain and then panicked. She could not control her vocal chords as the pain was excruciating. As if understanding the misery her toes miraculously unlocked and she managed to stand up. She looked around for a stick, just in case she had to defend herself.

She had no clue how to get back to the house. There were only 2 ways – one that would take her home and the other that would take her deeper into the woods.

She did exactly what Nancy would do when caught up in such situations – eena meena myna moe……and started to walk towards the direction that ended with moe…

She heard that rustle again. She was terrified. A bear covered in black fur was walking a few yards ahead of her.

"Did this mean that she was walking towards the thicket and not her home? How could eena meena myna moe have failed her when it never failed Nancy?"

Aunt Maggie was confused. She longed for her Merlot.

Just then the grizzly bear stopped and turned. It was looking straight in her direction.

Aunt Maggie froze. If she ran she knew what would happen. She was defenceless but for some strange reason felt brave.

"Roaaaarrrrrr.....she tried to mime the voice of a tiger to scare the bear away. She had read this trick in one of little Nancy’s books.

Alas! the sound emanated from her sounded like a sheep and the bear looked at her intensely.

She decided to talk to the bear, another trick from the book.

“I know who you are, she said as if talking to a child. You are not a wild grizzly bear. You mean no harm to an old lady who is nearing her grave and wishes to live a few more years. She is in no rush to go to Phillip. I bet he is having a good time in heaven with his lady friends."

“Maggie, what are you saying? How do you know that I am not a bear?"

Aunt Maggie was stupefied.

The bear had started talking to her. The trick of the book was indeed working!

She must tell this to Dr Redwood tomorrow. And she could spin a few yarns around this story, too.

Then the bear starts walking towards her.

Aunt Maggie freezes.

“Shhh……You will not reveal this to anybody, okay?

"The bear had a secret to hide?

"Reveal what?" she asks boldly in a loud tone.

“That I sleep walk in the woods at night and pretend to be a grizzly bear, and Mrs Redwood pretends that she is oblivious to this, as I am the only shrink in town. It would be a shame if the word spreads.
I have different set of problems and I compare notes when you talk to me."

Aunt Maggie faints.