Deceit

He was in my bed, the space that I ought to share with my husband. I was guilty as charged but did not feel that I was the wrongdoer, until that night when….

“I have just finished school and you are already looking for a suitable boy?” I asked piquantly.

“Sh…be quiet said my papa. He never failed to check the daily matrimonial.

I looked pleadingly at ma. She continued braiding my thick black hair yanking it even harder. I winced. This was her way of saying “Sh….be quiet.”         

The following weekend our entire household was busy with various activities; cleaning, dusting and washing, cooking and trimming the garden. I was stunned to see all my relatives in one place.

“All this was for a ‘suitable boy’ for me?” I was bewildered.

The more questions I asked I was shushed, as if that was the only word in the dictionary. That evening mother adorned my hair with jasmine flowers and draped me in a sari. Pritam arrived and instantly agreed as if I was a pack of instant noodles and in no time I was a bride.

“Diya, shall we sleep now?” asked Pritam.

I agreed happily. But this went on the next night and the night after that until the day I confronted him.

“Why are you not asserting your rights as a husband?”

Pritam hesitantly replied, “I don’t know how to tell you this but do you understand the meaning of impotent?”

I nodded.

Time flew and I was coined as sterile. I was disgraced and taunted. I retaliated by shamelessly sleeping with men on the sly, until that night when Pritam saw me in bed with this stranger. He looked away with a painful expression but remained silent and that's when I knew he loved me.

Hope (Revathi Raj Iyer)

I was startled to see two strange men seated on the tattered sofa of my tiny home. I quickly hid behind the curtain but it was too late. He saw me. The footsteps were now getting closer.

“Ma…….” I screamed in sheer fright as I felt an arm rub against my petite body.

I went to a municipal school but harboured a dream to go a big school where well to do kids studied.

“Will you make my dream come true, ma?  I asked in all earnest.

“Try and be happy with what we have,” my mother said quietly.

I had no idea as to how ma managed to feed and clothe me or run the house. Most girls at school had both parents but my ma was both rolled into one. I was very proud of her.

“Who are these men lurking by our house? They don’t look nice. I see them daily when I get back from school. Be careful ma,” I said as I closed the door and bolted it.

I now felt two strong arms lift me. I kicked helplessly.

“Ma……” I screamed again. I was petrified as I felt the strap tighten around my body. Just then, I saw my mother enter the house. I knew that ma was strong and would do something to end this nightmare.

Overwhelmed with a sense of relief, I cried even louder “ma …….do something quickly.”

To my utter shock, she stood still. As we passed our eyes met and I shivered at that cold, stony glare. The men guffawed. I felt a gush of bile rise up my throat. As the van revved up in the silence of the night, I saw ma close the door; and that’s when I knew she did not love me anymore…

http://www.bonobology.com/Features/41/Relationships/Window-of-Hope

A considerate man (3rd February, 2014)

This is my humble attempt to share my thoughts about my father-in-law whom we referred to as appa/dada.

I have shared a special bond with appa and an understanding that evolved over time. Our relationship dates back when I came into the Iyer family as their first daughter-in-law. Appa used to frequently visit us and was more of a friend to me than a father-in-law. We used to have interesting conversation about all matters that he liked. He would talk and talk and talk and I would be intrigued as to how any person can make such a long conversation without much effort, considering that I myself was a fairly quiet girl.

Initially I used to be quite amazed that his 3 sons would always address him as BOSS and he would call them DORAI . But as I got to know him more - I realized that this was really how he related with all his sons, in a relaxed manner.

When our daughter was born, dada's happiness knew no bounds, and he took joy in being involved in her childhood, as much as he could. I was happy to see how dada became the doting grand dad to his pethi as he fondly referred to my daughter. He never missed a birthday and would take charge of decorating the lounge with balloons and festoons. My little girl would look forward to her share of gems and chocolates and would be very happy to be the centre of attraction. Dingdees and Bublimaas were some of the pet names he would address little Shefali.

Dada would also happily take charge and cover my daughter's school books and text books with brown paper and neatly label it.  We always took this for granted and in 1999 when we moved overseas I suddenly realized as to how dada had lovingly taken charge of such a time consuming and mundane task.

For a person who held a very senior position in one of the multinationals, he also had a much softer side as dada. Appa was a very soft spoken person and looking back I feel that, had he not been a talkative person, ours would have been an empty relationship and I wouldn't have learnt so much about the family and his experiences.

His talks centered around his days as a little boy and his extra large family, how he met his wife, how he raised his sons, his first trip to the UK, his friends, politics, his friends, and not but not the least his career progress and his office. He used to quote funny anecdotes and I used to marvel at how he could remember such minute details. His penchant for books is known to all his family and friends.

It was an endless chat from an otherwise quiet person (as amma would often remind all of us) who became a talkative man with time and life's experiences. It was funny as to how at times, amma would intervene when his talks used to get repetitive. He used to talk not just to us, but with everybody that he felt close to. I am sure my family members that are reading this note are nodding their heads in agreement.

He pursued 2 years of law post retirement so as to be in touch with the outside world. It was his sweet way of coping up with time and he adjusted beautifully to the change of office routine. He also engaged himself with a vouluntary organisation and that became an interesting topic of conversation.

When we moved overseas they shifted base so as to be in the midst of all our relatives, our communication grew stronger with letter writing. He refused to be part of the techie world and loved his typewriter. It was one of his priced possessions. He never failed to send a birthday card to his grandkids nor did he forget his our wedding anniversaries. A card would arrive promptly on such occasions and his blessings came from his heart.

I cannot help add that for a person who was so easy on a face to face conversation, his phone protocl was also just perfect. It wouldn't last for more than 3 minutes and always ended with my good wishes to you all.

I noticed that as his grandkids grew he became more content and happy in life. He once told me that he had no complains with life and was in the evening of his life, when we called to wish him on his 80th birthday. Since the past two years, he would tell us that he was in the declining years of life.

In retrospect,  I feel happy and blessed that we made an effort to spend as much time as we could each year, in spite of the distance and our busy lives, and ensured our little girl had the same level of love and warmth, as she grew up into a lovely teen and a young adult.

Although we all wish that he had lived longer and continued to humour us with his stories, I must also admit that I have no regrets that we hadn't spent enough time with him. Dada has three sons and each of them have 1 girl. It was his wish that all his boys with wives and grand kids should unite and this was something we could never work out, due to differing priorities.

However as providence would have it, this long time wish of dada was also fulfilled as the entire family got together at the wedding of his other granddaughter and he bid farewell the very next day, leaving us all in a state of shock and disbelief.

As I write this tribute to appa/dada, on his 13th day of parting from us all, I feel that he has been most considerate, even as he departed.

May his soul rest in peace.