Deceit

He was in my bed, the space that I ought to share with my husband. I was guilty as charged but did not feel that I was the wrongdoer, until that night when….

“I have just finished school and you are already looking for a suitable boy?” I asked piquantly.

“Sh…be quiet said my papa. He never failed to check the daily matrimonial.

I looked pleadingly at ma. She continued braiding my thick black hair yanking it even harder. I winced. This was her way of saying “Sh….be quiet.”         

The following weekend our entire household was busy with various activities; cleaning, dusting and washing, cooking and trimming the garden. I was stunned to see all my relatives in one place.

“All this was for a ‘suitable boy’ for me?” I was bewildered.

The more questions I asked I was shushed, as if that was the only word in the dictionary. That evening mother adorned my hair with jasmine flowers and draped me in a sari. Pritam arrived and instantly agreed as if I was a pack of instant noodles and in no time I was a bride.

“Diya, shall we sleep now?” asked Pritam.

I agreed happily. But this went on the next night and the night after that until the day I confronted him.

“Why are you not asserting your rights as a husband?”

Pritam hesitantly replied, “I don’t know how to tell you this but do you understand the meaning of impotent?”

I nodded.

Time flew and I was coined as sterile. I was disgraced and taunted. I retaliated by shamelessly sleeping with men on the sly, until that night when Pritam saw me in bed with this stranger. He looked away with a painful expression but remained silent and that's when I knew he loved me.